bodner088

 "Lord...um...excuse me. What's a 'cubit' ? " --------------- Notes of enormous importance : 1 )“Cubit’s Rube” is a sloppy spoonerism for “ Rubic’s Cube .”   2 ) Years ago, when I had a legitimate job in the fascinating field of accounting – fiscal voyeurism – my  boss said to me (in anticipation of a confrontation with a dissatisfied client who had just learned that he owed the Internal Revenue Service a large sum of money), “ Geez , Doug. The ‘ fit is going to hit the shan !” If you cannot figure that one out, you must turn off your computer, go to the supermarket, and purchase a copy of The National Enquirer and a large box of bon-bons immediately. You are exempt from reading any further. Congratulations.   3 ) A friend once asked me (in an attempt to be witty and engaging, despite his chronic halitosis and repellent reptilian skin condition), “Hey, Dougie! What’s the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?” When I failed to answer, he said, grinning, “A r...

Every word has numerous meanings and may be used in numerous contexts. Knowing this, we create puns, spoonerisms ,  oxymorons , paraprosdokians , paradoxes, riddles and other recreational wordplay. One of the greatest benefits of this wordplay is the accessing and  exercising of multiple parts of the brain. This serves to strengthen our creative and associative abilities, to ward off senile dementia and intellectual degradation and to sharpen our analytic and verbal skills. As a side benefit, my beloved Braintenancers , we also entertain ourselves and eachother.  Here are some twisted definitions which will be of interest to all, and in particular, to those of us privileged to be Baby Boomers . Thanks to Ms. Jane Portnoy for her contribution to this article. Let's let 'em roll... ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR (if you remember this terminology, you’re showing your age) : A place where ...